Keep Moving

The other day I remembered the story of the four lepers in the book of 2Kings of the Bible. The first time I heard about the lepers, I was really inspired by them.  As the preacher preached, I drew a picture of four men with various stages of the diseases, with no limbs or with partial limbs moving towards the camp of the enemy with only one thing in mind “survival”.

In 2Kings verse 7 we are introduced to the four lepers who lived just outside the gates in the city of Samaria because lepers were not allowed to live in the city with other people. They survived by feeding on the left over given to them by the people.  At that time there was another great war between Syria and Israel; and the king of Syria, led a mighty army into the land of Israel, and laid siege against the city of Samaria. So hard and so long was the siege that the people in Samaria could find nothing to eat; many died from want of food, and some killed their own children, and ate them. You can imagine the plight on the lepers who fed on left over, it must have been very bad for them at such a time when people didn’t have food to eat.

The King of Samaria had enquired the prophet Elisha about the situation in response he had boldly prophesied to the people while encouraging them he declared that they will not perish but rather within 24hrs foodstuff would be sold in the market place.

At this time, the four lepers who stayed at the city gates contemplated their fate, it was evidently clear for all to see that in a matter of days they would be dead lepers. They could see in the distance the great camp of the Syrian army, at night they could hear the noise of merry making coming form the soldiers. Their mouths would water as they let their imaginations run wild and picture the great feast the soldiers would have every night before they went to bed. They decided that rather then wait to die of hunger at the gates of Samaria, it would be better to die at the hands of the Syrian soldiers while trying to survive. At least they would have tried.

So they began to work towards the camp of the soldiers and as they moved our almighty Father began to make a way for them; He caused the army of the Syrians to hear the noise of a mighty army with hundreds of chariots. The Syrian soldiers in their camp were convinced when they heard the sound that the Samarians had managed to enlist the help of other Kings and their armies to fight them. So they ran, leaving behind all the spoils from their previous battles with plenty of food stuff which they had stored up to see them through long months of war, in fact they left the camp intact and fled for their lives.

When the lepers got to the camp, to their great amazement and surprise, there was no one in the camp, no one at all! They ate to their satisfaction, went back told the gate keeper all they had seen (no doubt they had to show him proof their claim) and the keeper raised an alarm in the city. That was how God used the unlikely lepers to fulfill such a great prophesy and save the lives of hundreds of people in Samaria.

This story has always encouraged me to drop any feeling of defeat, to erase completely from my mind the fact that I cannot raise out of any situation I may find myself. The four lepers had had every excuse to sit there and die. They were disadvantaged in every sense of the word. Their reasons for dying such helpless deaths would have been very legitimate. Never the less, they decided to press on and move forward.

It is quiet easy to accept your current conditions, the odds are stacked up against you. You have been fighting all your life, you know now that greatness is out of reach, you say to yourself good things just don’t happen to people like me and on and on. We unknowingly allow ourselves to become victims of our circumstances. The truth is you never know what lies behind that closed door if you don’t try to open it or at least knock on it. No matter how bleak the situation please don’t give up, don’t accept defeat. There are so many people out there waiting for you to come out of that place of depression and self pity to take life by the horns, fulfill your purpose and bless them with your victory story; thereby giving them strength to rise above their own circumstances.

Please don’t give the devil the satisfaction of seeing you kill your potential because of a setback, no matter how major it may be. Keep moving, keep shining, keep believing and trusting that all things work together for your good. I believe that if we can just take a step of faith towards achieving our goals and dreams with survival and growth on our minds and the resolve not to settle for the crumbs that the world has thrown our way, that the Lord God almighty would honor our faith by opening doors that we could never have imagined possible.  He is waiting to amplify your efforts, make a noise in the hearts of people when you speak that will make them pay attention and want to be part of what you are doing. He is waiting to show you off.

Finally, did you notice that the four lepers who were rejects and most likely treated like outcasts went back to the city to inform the people of what they had experienced?  They didn’t want to be partakers of the great feast alone; they wanted to share the Good News. I think the Lord used them because he knew that they would share what they had stumbled on.  When God has brought you out of that slimy pit, no matter what it is, I am convinced that he wants us to minster to the people who are going through the same thing. He uses us to bless other people just as he has blessed us. The blessing is never for us alone, there are lives tied to your deliverance and I believe the earlier we realize and accept this, the faster these things will come to us and through us.

Have a blessed weekend ahead. Hugs

 

My Reflections on International Widows Day (June 23)

Hello out there, how is it going? Sunday June 23^rd was international widow’s day. It is the United Nations ratified day of action to raise awareness of the issue of widowhood. I was thinking about why the day was established in the first place, about the “silent calamity” that widowhood has become because the “sufferers” are not seen, people who have had their lives radically altered by the loss of a spouse but still are not left to mourn and carry on with their lives in peace because of some form of tradition and injustice or the other. I couldn’t help but thank God for my own experience, my own journey and all that I have become due to the sad event.

My journey wasn’t as traumatic, I didn’t go through any of the issues I described above but it was life altering all the same. From the experience I know firsthand that all things (yes even the loss of a spouse) really do work together for the good of those that love God Romans 8:28.

There are still days that I wish I hadn’t gone through the experience in the first place, I do wish he was still here with me and the kids, however looking back over the past 12 years I know the experience has had a lot of positive impact in my life. I have learnt to trust God completely for everything, I sometimes feel like I can take on the world with God on my side. I go around with quiet confidence in the ability of God to see me through whatever may come my way because I am still standing after everything.

I am more adamant that my life cannot be ordinary. I have become a woman who is relentless in her pursuit of purpose and the hope of my calling. It matters to me now that my life must count for something. I refuse to compromise the quality of my life. The fact that God put us here on earth to have impact and influence has become my driving force, I cannot settle for less. I feel that doing anything less would be that I am letting down God in some way. The experience has convinced me more than ever that we are all here for a reason and that reason is what drives me from day to day.

So my friend, have you been through or going through a life changing experience?  How has it affected you?  You may not be able to see the positive effect the experience has had on your life unless you reflect on it with an attitude of gratitude.  The negatives always seem to outweigh the positive things when such events occur but in the long run if we look back with an attitude of gratitude we will discover that same occurrence is responsible for ushering in a new era of positive change in our lives.

So what good has come out of that erstwhile horrible situation? Is it a change in your character? Has it made you bolder or like me more determined to make something meaningful out your life?  I would like to hear from you, let’s encourage each other. There are people out there who are in total darkness and cannot see any light in their situations maybe your story will make them smile or bring a glimmer of light in their darkness.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

Hugs

Are You Remarried Now?

 

I get asked the question why I have not remarried after almost 12 years of widowhood a lot. My answer is always that it just hasn’t happened. Recently, I realized that people ask that question because they think I haven’t remarried by choice. The question is often asked with the intention of convincing me to drop the silly notion and remarry already. Well, there are several reasons why I haven’t remarried and none of them has anything to do with me making a conscious decision not to remarry.

When my husband passed, I had lot I hadn’t done. My education was not quiet complete, I had to go to Law school, participate in the mandatory one year youth corps service after that and i immediately joined the rat race. All this I did while raising my children who were toddlers at that time. Romance was the farthest thing from my mind. As the years progressed, I started to meet people whom I might I have dated I realized that all I wanted was a replacement for my late husband.  I compared everybody to him, needless to say, that did not help as well.

Shortly after I made the decision to stop comparing everyone to him, keep an open mind and hope for the best in terms of being in a meaningful relationship, I got a job in another state and I had to move with my children. I found myself truly alone for the first time since I became a widow. The support structure from my immediately family was not readily available anymore. I had a home to provide for, children I had to be mummy and daddy to at the same time and a job I had to excel at. Time just flew by as it is very good at doing. I woke up one day and realized I had hit 40 and still alone 10 years after I had lost my mate.

God has promised to restore to me what I have lost, I realize now that it might have happened earlier if I wasn’t so absorbed in being a widow, single parent and an employee. If I hadn’t taken my new roles too seriously that I forgot to unwind, relax and see the opportunities right there in front of me.

I am now aware that when the bible in 1^st Thessalonians admonishes us not to mourn like those who not have hope,  we were being warned against being excessive in our sorrows, like people who have given up any hope of having a better life after suffering a loss. I think that by being too absorbed in my new life, I was unconsciously drowning myself in my sorrows. I believed that the new life I was living at that time was my fate. It took me a long time to realize that I had buried myself with my husband with no hope of ever really fully enjoying restoration or life again.

Life is all about cycles, the loss of a spouse or anything we hold dear can be regarded as the end of on cycle and the beginning of the next one. It can be painful especially when it is unexpected and that’s why we mourn the loss but this should be done with expectancy in our hearts that the God we serve will do something new and even better in our future.

In case there are some people reading this who have decided that with the loss of their spouse to death or divorce, they are done with marriage, you’ve been there and done that. It didn’t work out for you, now all you want to do is concentrate on your children (if you have any), your career, your family and God. You are saying it’s just me and God now.  Well think again my dear friend, God Himself said in Genesis 2:18 that it is not good for man to be alone. The reality is that life can be so demanding and tough especially as a single parent or someone who has experienced the joys of being in the union of marriage and find themselves alone again.

Depending on where you are on the healing process, the thought of remarriage may sound absurd but please do keep an open mind.  I know for a fact that some people feel that the thought of remarriage alone is disrespectful to the memory of their late spouse but where is he or her when you need someone to talk to? When you are tired and you just want to be held?  Research has shown that a widowed person who had a happy and fulfilling marriage the first time is more likely to desire another satisfying relationship or marriage (Source- early psychological reaction to stress in widowhood). It should be viewed as seizing the opportunity to develop a caring relationship after converting your first marriage to a loving memory.

As expected some do rush into the next marriage for the wrong reasons when they haven’t fully healed from the loss. They see remarriage as a way of pushing away the pain. That would be a mistake. Remarriage or being in a relationship cannot make you accept the loss of your spouse only time can do that. The best time to consider remarriage is when you have accepted and come to terms with your situation. 

All said however, the decision to remarry or not is a personal one; a lot also depends on the timing and finding the right person for you. The new person has to be someone you love or like a whole lot, this is a new relationship you want to nurture and not just someone you have chosen to replace your late spouse. It is very important that this new person enhances and complements your new found individuality. Remarriage is only healthy if it can enhance your life in a positive way. Getting married for a widowed person is different from someone is doing it for the first time. There is a lot to be considered like the children, where to live, finances, in-laws (both new and old but especially old). It should be approached prayerfully and with much discussion between the two parties.

I do realize that not everyone will remarry but I think it is an option that should be considered. Don’t bury your heart away in a pile of dead memories. Keep an open mind and be expectant, believe that God loves you and wants to restore to you all you have lost.

I leave you today with this scripture from the book of Job(42:12): "The Lord blessed the latter part of Jobs life more than the first"

God is gracious. Have fruitful week ahead.

Hugs

 

 

Living My Best Life Now

Hello friends, how has 2013 been for you so far? For me the year has already been full of ups and downs but I guess that’s life so I’m taking everything that comes in my stride.

 I wondered recently how many people can sincerely say they are excited about their lives at the moment. Can they say they are really living life or merely existing? Just living from day to day and waiting for some event to occur in their lives that will make them say now I can really enjoy my life.

 

I was recently in and out of hospital due to illness, which as far as I was concerned was mainly triggered by stress. This led me to ask myself if I could honestly say I was enjoying my life as it is now or merely existing.

 

Over the years I have had this feeling of urgency to accomplish the things that I felt God had placed in my heart to do, the fact that I had not come near attaining them got me feeling a bit bad with every passing year. I felt that the attainment of these dreams and desires was the key to my real happiness in life and only then will I feel fulfilled and enjoy my life.

Thank God I had time to reflect and renew my mind, there is nothing wrong in having big dreams and aspirations, God has called us to be fruitful and multiply. (Genesis 1v 22) therefore having big dreams, visions and wanting progress and growth is actually part of our human nature. Doubtless we will feel fulfilled and happier when we eventually achieve them but what happens before we achieve them? What happens during the journey?

A friend of mine always says it’s all about the process, the process is much more important than the destination. I realized that I needed to enjoy the process of growth. It is in relishing the process and learning every lesson that I can learn while I am growing that I will find myself at the next level of my life without much effort. The process molds, builds and gets us ready for the destination. It cannot be circumvented, I cannot make it go away, so I had a choice to either enjoy it while I am on my way to achieving this great dreams and desires or hate the process and feel frustrated all the way. Consequently the latter attitude will make let’s say a five year process feel like 10 years while the former attitude will make a 5yr process feel life 3 years.

I use the phrase "renew my mind" because i had unconsciously made up my mind that until I begin this project and this or that happened in my life I cannot truly be a fulfilled and happy person. I know now that I have to purposefully make efforts to enjoy every single day and relish it as a gift from God, while realizing that I am one step closer to achieving my dreams.

The loss of a loved one or the occurrence of a life changing event can actually make you stop enjoying life, you become a shadow of yourself, like a before and after kind of person. It’s not what you set out to do on purpose, in fact in your mind you may believe that you are over the tragic event, you are happy again or you have moved on while you are actually still stuck in the past and living a life full of wishes that will never come to pass.

What I am actually worried about is that we get used to not living life to the full because so and so happened to us that we actually do not realize that we have become zombies dragging ourselves thru life and waiting for something to happen that will hopefully brighten our lives once again. Well, if what I have just described sounds like you please snap out of it, nothing is going to happen that will make you feel alive again if you have not made a conscious decision to enjoy life irrespective of what has happened or where you are on your journey. No one is going to make that decision for you only you can.

I have purposed in my heart that I will not allow anything stop me from being the woman that God has called me to be, off course it’s not easy, life is so real that you just want to dance to its music sometimes. This can however distract you from the music playing in your heart and in your spirit which should be your focus. I am called to be a joyful person, who is excited about life and all the endless possibilities open to me. I can accomplish anything I set my mind to with the help of God who is my strength. I have begun to face my fears and put things in place to achieve my dreams.

 God has given us so everything we need to live victorious and joyful lives but we cannot receive anything if we do not make a conscious decision to get up and live irrespective of what we have or do not have, our experiences, where we are in life and what we have achieved or what we have not achieved.

 

“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same”- Don Juan.

 

Have a fruitful week ahead. Hugs